Monday, August 08, 2005

The FrankenStack and Mrs. Mel

Last month, when this monstrosity was created/born, I sent this commentary, with the attached photo, to Mrs. Mel. I figured she would get a giggle out of it, and maybe understand. To my shock, she liked it! Oy vey, she even encouraged me to someday share it. I guess that day has come...

It began life as a poncho (yes, I know – not the greatest way to start life), then somehow morphed into The FrankenStack. Why The FrankenStack? Because laid out on the floor, it has a somewhat chimney-ish-ness about it. Oh, and because if I put it on like a poncho, I can become a walking, talking, chimney. Until I trip over the furniture and fall down, because I didn’t make eyeholes in it.

Yes, I can drop it down to sit neatly about the shoulders – but then the alarming tightness of it traps my arms at my side, and I’m stuck in the Stack until my spouse stops laughing long enough to free me.

Yup, I can push it up, and wear is as a cowl-type-thingy, with the benefit of both being able to see and move my arms, but where’s the fun in that? In fact, when I do that (wear is as a cowl-type-thingy) it actually looks, dare I say it, not too bad.

Sadly, DH absolutely refused to be involved in any photo taking, as he is scared the pictures might pop up in public some day. Which they would, if I had them. What’s life about if not to poke fun at ourselves?

On a whim, I decided to try it as a skirt. Why? Hey, I knit the hideous thing, so of course I’m going to try and get some mileage out of it. It can be worn (not sure why, but yes, it can) pulled up under the armpits as a really stinking ugly wooly sundress. But hey, then my knees show. Can’t have that.

It works as a high waisted (just below the boobs) skirt, too. But woof!

And, finally, just when I thought it couldn’t sink any lower, I put it on as a Plain Jane Regular Skirt. Holy crap! It doesn’t look half bad! The weirdest part? DH really-actually-for-real-not-just-kidding-me likes it that way! He went so far as to say that I could wear it in public, and he would actually be seen with me!

Of course, as he was still doing the “nope, I’m not touching the camera, it might break the lens if you put it back into poncho mode” thing, I had to take the photo myself, in the mirror, so excuse the really bad focus, angle, and flash explosion. Oh yeah, did I mention he has bad taste?

Here it is – The FrankenStack. Knitted almost entirely while reading blogs and surfing the web (thus the use of 10 balls of yarn and the forgetting to increase for silly things like, say, shoulders). Yup, that’s a crocheted chenille edging. Can the coolness of this creation be topped? Oh, wait, not cool at all.

The yarn is 60% wool, and has 15% mohair in there too, just for itchy scratchy factor. Worn with a slip to protect the bits from tickles. Strangest part of all? I spent about 7 hours wearing it, including sitting, lounging around, and curling up on the couch with DH, and it kept it’s shape! No saggy bum. No pooching at the belly. No massive gravitational lengthening. Oy. Damn near wearable.

Fun with yarn. When will it stop?


Mrs. Mel said...

Worn with a slip to protect the bits from tickles

One of the best English sentences I have ever read. Poetic!

I am so proud to be mentioned in your blog.
Sigh, and from a Canadian, on a day when I am weeping from the loss of my fave Canadian, Peter Jennings. It is all so overwhelming.Sob.

Anonymous said...

Ohhh...did you write a patterns? Can we have it?