Hah! Gotcha! Not that kind of bump, not this time. Nope.
Yesterday (very early Thursday morning) I had just hit "Publish Post" when there was a knock on the door. Keep in mind that it was very early. Wearing robe and hair-standing-out-like-a-clown early. And dark. Really, really dark.
As DH was still in the process of dressing (he was all clean and shiny, but hadn't yet put on pants), he ducked into the bedroom while I looked all confused (who comes to the door at that hour? really?) and answered the door.
An older, somewhat panic-y blond woman blurts out that there is a "body in the middle of the street", and that I should call 9-1-1. Then, she bolts. Takes off. Runs. Gone into the blackness of the really early morning. In my pre-caffeinated state, I step out into the front yard, and can see a rather large bump in the middle of the road, a few houses down.
Well, a zillion scary things are going through my mind (she's got accomplices, and as soon as I step out to check on this body on the road, they're going to rob/rape/beat/murder me). Thankfully, DH is much more pragmatic. He gets dressed, pulls on a coat and his reflective safety vest, and goes booting down the street. As I stand barefoot on the sidewalk (in my fluffy white robe) I hear him yell "she's alive but really cold - call the cops!"
Yup, dialed 9-1-1, and got to tell the dispatcher that there was a woman laying in the middle of our street. She tells me there is a patrol car in our area already, and she will send him our way - within two seconds, he's turning the corner onto our street (at the other end). I wave to him, then point down the street to where DH (smart, that DH) has put his coat / reflective vest combo over the woman. As the RCMP vehicle approaches, there is a big glowing X on her, and DH standing between the car and the woman, waving his arms. He's good that way.
Realizing I'm cold and practically naked, I hustle my fluffy arse back inside, and wait. DH appears in less than two minutes. He apparently got her to respond, but when he first approached her, she appeared to be asleep! He had assisted the RCMP officer with getting the woman (who he described as really young, blond, and not at all coherent) into the vehicle, was thanked, then headed home.
We talked about it for a few minutes, then the man was off to work. Just like that. All over in less than six minutes.
Last night when he came home we talked again, and decided that the incident had taught us a few things, and helped us to realize others:
1. When it's dark and you're the only house on the street with lights on, you're going to get the (hopefully very rare) knock on the door.
2. DH acts and thinks really quickly before his morning coffee, whereas I don't (not new to me, but the first time he recognized that fact).
3. A "body in the road" has the capacity to be a teenager down after a night of drinking - but that doesn't matter. A person passed out in the road still needs attention.
4. Calling the RCMP was the correct, and only, feasible solution. Whether they took her to the drunk tank to dry out, or to the hospital to deal with hypothermia (it was a frosty morning), it doesn't matter. The proper authorities made the decision, and we were able to continue going about our daily routine once the problem was out of our hands.
5. Ours is a very small town. Having a patrol car in our area literally means just that. He was one corner away, and was dispatched to investigate and driving by me before I had a chance to check that my robe was closed (it was).
6. When DH told his co-workers about the incident, they managed to turn it into a joke. He's the only one married, and got teased all day with "How come the married one gets the hot young unconscious blond on his doorstep? Doesn't seem fair!" Apparently, men can turn anything into a joke.
7. The likelihood of either of us passing out in the middle of the street is far, far lower than it was when we were drinking our way through University. That makes us both happy, as where we live, it is below freezing for damn near half the year.
Yup, it was an interesting Thursday morning. And just in case, I bolted down my morning coffee as soon as it brewed. Because you never know when you're doing to be dealing with a crisis. Like a disappearing harbinger of doom. Or a hypothermic teenager asleep in the street.